I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
