he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize