MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
