Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
