Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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