Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
