why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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