i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
