now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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