Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
