I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
