oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
