She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
