just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
