The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
