i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
