I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
