Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
