fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
