sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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