My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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