i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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