i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
