and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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