I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
How's work?
Spinning.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
