my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
