I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Fuck appropriateness.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
