Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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