i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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