just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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