It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
