i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
