Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
