oh god the rape fog is back!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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