I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
being pregnant is like rehab
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
