This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
