i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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