i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
