If that was your dad, he is hot
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
