just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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