I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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