Got a toothbrush?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
