she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
