none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
