My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
