those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
