a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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