Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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