Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
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You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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