Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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