so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
