so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
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And the cops told us we were all naked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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