And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
