I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
