I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
