So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
