lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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