Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
