you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
