I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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