I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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