is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
