You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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