i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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