Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
