I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I love you.
Bad choice
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
