just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
