sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
