He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
