On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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