guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
